When I do something, I do it well. I'm no half a job Rob if ya hearing what i'm saying (no disrespect to all you Robs out there). For as long as I can remember, I have always put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to succeed. When my year 7 geography teacher asked the class to make a volcano from scratch as a homework task, I spent my whole weekend indoors creating an absolute masterpiece. I then cried on the Monday morning because I didn't think it was good enough and was embarrassed to bring it into school. I am also super self critical. After putting my heart and soul into something, I have the ability of pulling it apart so I can stand back and scrutinise every aspect. Talk abut being my own worst enemy, I know. After worrying all day, fifth period came along and it was time for the big reveal...I was rewarded with a chupa chups lollipop and five stamps in my planner for the 'best volcano he had ever seen' (his words not mine ;)). Confidence and self belief in my own efforts would have saved me a bucket full of tears and three whole days of telling myself I just couldn't do it.
Anywaaaay, being this way inclined is obviously not ideal and in the past has driven me to complete exhaustion. There have been incidents where I've allowed the perfectionist in me to run wild and it made me believe that my body was superior to everyone else's - I am young, of course it wouldn't just shut down and stop functioning...right? Wrong. In time, it did just that and ironically, the more I pushed myself, the less capable I was of getting anything done because I was heading nearer and nearer towards the shut down button. None of us are super human (Beyoncé and Mary Berry being the exceptions, of course). We each have millions of cells in our bodies who fight our corner every. single. day. to keep us alive and healthy...but it's our job to help the little guys out! If I had only rested and took some time to reevaluate what was important (no 1. being my health), I would have been in a far better place physically and mentally to boss whatever it was that needed doing. Working ourselves silly is self abuse and is only going to end in failure.
Last Sunday, Jen, Kate and I took ourselves off on a two night getaway for some time out...we went GLAMPING! Our little, wooden pod was situated just outside of Helmsley, North Yorkshire and only a short drive away from the beach. The site was called Woodpecker Pods for anyone interested! During the days, we went on walks in the countryside, sat and drank coffee in the cutest cafes, strolled across the sea front and gambled all of our 2ps in the amusements. In the evenings, we cooked cracking BBQs, told each other ghost stories, played charades, drank prosecco (out of plastic cups, much to Jenlar's dismay), sang our hearts out to Lady Gaga and had the longest, loveliest chats. I returned home on Tuesday feeling recharged and so lucky to have the best pals ever.
Taking time out is SO important and shouldn't ever be something we feel guilty about doing - it's part of basic self care! If your 'to do' list is looking daunting and your stress levels are beginning to rise, pour yourself a glass of vino and take a bath. Like, seriously. OR... go on a bike ride if cycling is your thing. Jam out on your guitar. Bake a cake. Read a book. Order a deliveroo whilst binge watching your favourite Netflix series (my kinda night). Do whatever it is you ENJOY to do. Yes, admittedly, it's not making that 'to do' list shrink, but it is sure as hell making you more capable of thrashing the hell out of it when you feel more ready to approach it!
Lots of love as always,
Beth x
P.s. The day after we returned home from glamping I only went and passed my driving theory test! Four years later than everyone else my age but who cares! Last week was a flippin good un'! :):)
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