Happy Easter Monday to you all! :)
I hope you've spent the entire weekend stuffing chocolatey goodness in your faces and eating endless amounts of hot cross buns - the only way it should be spent!
This time last year my life looked very different. I won't bore you with the ins and outs, but around October time I reached a point where change needed to happen whether I liked it or not. During this time there were several people who made me feel like I was not capable of making these alterations. Despite me being resistant to change, I grabbed my walking boots from under the cupboard and set out on this journey. Mission: prove people wrong. Because nothing beats that feeling, right?
Around two months ago now I bumped into the Team Captain of the 'don’t believe in Beth Lee club’. This was my time. This moment, when they realised just how far I had come, was going to be so worth the struggle it took to get here.
Around two months ago now I bumped into the Team Captain of the 'don’t believe in Beth Lee club’. This was my time. This moment, when they realised just how far I had come, was going to be so worth the struggle it took to get here.
The douche bag didn’t even acknowledge me. My blood, sweat and tears (which, may I add, were enough to fill the bloody Pacific Ocean) weren’t even worth a glance in my direction. I spent a good day or two after, clinging onto a box of Kleenex Tissues and feeling like the world's biggest failure. I know it all sounds very dramatic but it honestly felt so pointless. I had come all this way to try and please someone else, only to find out that they really didn't care. They didn’t care whether I had crossed the finish line or was flagging miles behind with a zillion injuries.
Just like a light switch had flicked in my head, I eventually had an epiphany. What I came to realise is that I never set out to do 'it' for me. My happiness was based on trying to gain respect from others, to show them that I was worthy. For months I pictured that scene (of bumping into them) over and over in my head. On several occasions it got me through the really rocky parts of the road. I pictured balloons, banners, rounds of applause and if I was really lucky, endless amounts of champagne! Talk about disappointment!! ;) The truth was, it wouldn't have mattered even if they did recognise my progress. Ultimately, it's my life and what I do doesn't affect anyone else in the slightest. Plus, they'd soon forget about my accomplishments anyway and be back to thinking about their own lives.
Just like a light switch had flicked in my head, I eventually had an epiphany. What I came to realise is that I never set out to do 'it' for me. My happiness was based on trying to gain respect from others, to show them that I was worthy. For months I pictured that scene (of bumping into them) over and over in my head. On several occasions it got me through the really rocky parts of the road. I pictured balloons, banners, rounds of applause and if I was really lucky, endless amounts of champagne! Talk about disappointment!! ;) The truth was, it wouldn't have mattered even if they did recognise my progress. Ultimately, it's my life and what I do doesn't affect anyone else in the slightest. Plus, they'd soon forget about my accomplishments anyway and be back to thinking about their own lives.
I worked hard to get to the place I am at now, for ME. To better MY life and MY future. I wasn’t a failure because someone else didn’t acknowledge my success. I was doing great regardless. My inner Beyoncé rose again!
This weekend, I drunkenly danced my way into Easter Sunday with my favourite people, singing at the top of my lungs to Avril Lavigne. It’s in these moments when I realise there is actually something that beats the feeling of shoving your success story in someone else’s face. Nothing even comes close to the feeling you get in moments of genuine happiness, when you reflect on how far you’ve come and can be wholeheartedly proud of yourself and your achievements.
This weekend, I drunkenly danced my way into Easter Sunday with my favourite people, singing at the top of my lungs to Avril Lavigne. It’s in these moments when I realise there is actually something that beats the feeling of shoving your success story in someone else’s face. Nothing even comes close to the feeling you get in moments of genuine happiness, when you reflect on how far you’ve come and can be wholeheartedly proud of yourself and your achievements.By all means use those haters as motivation (because lets face it, success is the BEST revenge), but don't use them as the sole purpose of wanting to succeed in something - they're not worth the effort! It doesn't matter what you're working towards. A new job. A degree. A new relationship. Getting into better shape. Focusing on your mental health. Make sure your intentions are pure and only to better YOU and YOUR life. Do it for the present you. Do it for the 5 year old you who is so full of life, innocence and believes they can take on the world. You still can take on the world. Do it for the 30 year old you who, by the way, is now exactly where they need to be after everything fell into place!
Beth x
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